The Christians failed at their attempt to “storm the Heavens with prayer” in order to get God to stop The Satanic Temple’s 3-day SatanCon event from happening in Boston, about two weekends ago, at the Mariott Copley Place. When asked why He didn’t help out the Christians, God responded, “It was Friday afternoon."

I had just gotten done walking the dog when this fella, who says his name was Friar Brian, asked me to stop devil’s 3-day party. At first I was like, ‘What devil’s party?!’ Lucifer’s been hanging out on the coast, with this one dame he found in Georgia. Why Lucifer was in Georgia?! I don’t know. But hey.

So yeah, this Friar Brain fella kept going on and on about, ‘SatanCon in Boston, witches night’. Blah, blah, blah! Nate comes up and I’m like:

    Hey, Nate!

    Hey, God!

    Aren’t you from Boston?!

    Yeah, Salem, long time go.

    The witches!

    Yeah.

    Sorry bout that.

    Yeah, not your fault.

    Well, I kind of picked your family, but you know. Yeah, sooo, are
    the witches still there?!

    The witches are everywhere, but they’ve never done nothing to
    me. It’s those dude in house robes, and what not.

    The sanctified sinners.

    That’s who they are, sanctified sinners.

    So, the witches are cool?!

    Yeah, cool with me. They’re not judgy, fussy. They’re like, ‘Just go
    with the wind and wherever you land then that’s where you land.

    Wherever you land, then that’s where you land. Hm, I like it. Ok,
    thanks Nate! Hey Nate, will you take Beans for Me?

    God, everybody knows Beans. It’s Beans!

    Yeah, it’s Beans!

Beans and I went back to the Big House. I told Beans that I was thinking about going down and asked him if he wanted to come and he said yeah. So on Friday, Beans and I went down to the Witches Night Shindig. I went as Myself and surprisingly, many people knew it was Me.

    Hey, there’s God! said a human with normal hair.

    Why does God have a baby face?! said a human with wolf ears.

    I bet God’s here for the chilli dogs. said a human who smelled of
    grass.

Yeah, I was there for the chilli dogs, the chips, the dip, and the devil cake! And I got Myself and Beans a doggie bag to go! Everyone was pretty cool. They talked to me and they scratched Beans behind his ears and gave him a belly rub, which he loves.

We danced. We had punch and pie. We even exchanged Insta info. I had a Bacchus time! Speaking of Bacchus, I’ve got to get him that Chocolate Pina Colada he wants! Speaking of Pina Colada, I peep down just to see if this Friar Brian fella was asleep.

You know, it was the dark of night, around 2 in the morning when I made it back. So, I just knew he was asleep. But, unh-unh. I take a gander down and who in My name do I see?! Friar Brian was stretched out in a tub of Pina Colada getting his fanny fanned by somebody who called himself TQ.

And I was like, “Whew, thank Me for TQ because I don’t have to listen to Friar Brian’s whining all night.”